My Head, the Pinball Machine
Things said in passing often come back to teach me. When
they are spoken I just carry on with the conversation and almost forget their
meaning. Somehow, small pieces of the conversation stay alive in my
pinball-machine-head. The letters and words bounce around, almost falling into
the world of forgotten things. But my subconscious keeps pushing the button
that flips the flipper, and the words survive until I have time to understand
them. Those passing words bounce around until they have taught me what I need
to know. Then, they are never forgotten.
“I’m just trying to focus on what I can give instead of what
I can get.”
That’s what she said (that wasn’t a dirty joke, that really
is what my friend, Kelsey, said). Those were the words that bounced around.
Those were the words that kept flipping the flipper to stay alive. Those were
the words that took me time to understand.
Life is unfair, so it can seem like there is a lot to
complain about. But anytime we complain it’s because of an expectation. We
expect to be getting. Like the world
constantly owes us wonderful, perfect experiences. We forget that the world
never made a promise like that.
So if you feel lonely because you don’t know where to find
friends. If you give someone attention that doesn’t reciprocate it. If you are
surrounded by people you think should be cooler (awkward singles ward?). If you
don’t have attractive people constantly falling in love with you. If you have to work on weekends. If you are
sick of having too much to do and no free time. If you have nothing to do. If
you don’t feel attractive. If you are frustrated because someone else seems
better off than you. . . If you . . . If you . . . (enter your own personal
complaints here).
Remember that none of what you expect was ever promised. We
are entitled to almost nothing. This may seem sobering, but ultimately, if you
let the thought bounce around long enough, it’s freeing. All you have to worry
about is what you can give.
As you give, you’ll find friends. As you give you’ll find
satisfaction in almost everything you do. As you give you will feel attractive.
As you give, you will be happy for everyone that is better off, because making
people better off will be your focus.
Give your time to those you care about. Give yourself to
callings, responsibilities, and jobs. Give as much as you can give and you’ll
probably lose the desire to complain. You’ll find that you will do a lot more
getting once giving is your focus. (Although getting more should not be your motive
for giving, it just happens naturally.)
You will crucify the idea of fairness. You will tear down insignificant expectations for what you think you deserve.You will burn envy at the stake. You will cast stones at ingratitude until it slowly dies inside you.
You’ve given everything you can. Isn’t that enough of a
reward?
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