This is not a public journal. There is no theme, agenda, or overall purpose. I need a reason to write and it needs to be well informed. I consider myself an expert in only one subject, my own thoughts. I am reflecting my experiences onto the internet because this seems to make them more beautiful to me, especially when they are idealized and inaccurate. This is not a mirror for me to see myself looking back, nor is it a mirror that reflects a detailed image of myself to others. This page is but a jumble of letters, words, and ideas that will be interpreted differently for each person, including myself. There are no mirrors because these thoughts are directionless, inaccurate, and fuzzy; a vague, splotchy reflection of McKinley.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

To The Broken Hearted

It is easy to be pessimistic about love and relationships. Divorce surrounds us. Break ups and the woes of relationships seem to fill conversations all around. It’s easy to lose hope; it’s easy to stop believing. I write this so that you won’t lose hope, I write so that you won’t stop believing.

This post is because one of my best relationships recently ended before it even had a chance to begin. I have every reason to feel broken hearted, earlier today I did, but then I thought for a while, then I prayed for a while. Now I am filled with light. I have promised myself that anytime I receive light that I would try to share those thoughts. I want hope to spread like wildfire. I want it to heal all those that are in need of healing. 

I think about love and relationships a lot. Probably because many of my friends are married, some divorced, and all have dated. At this stage of my life it’s something very critical to consider. I have a lot of thoughts about why we have gotten so terrible at relationships. This talk has a lot of wisdom regarding our misconceptions of what love is. As long as you keep it straight for yourself, and love in the right way (like Forrest Gump loves Jenny haha, he knows what love is), everything will work out for you.  You will feel peace, you will feel incapable of a broken heart.

These are just some ideas in no particular order. These are my thoughts about the value of broken hearts and how to find hope.

*Give yourself an opportunity for light to come upon you.  See it where you weren’t looking before. Light is so easy to find if you look. No matter how thick the darkness may seem, light always finds those that seek it. For more directions on feeling the light that surrounds you, read this post I wrote over a year ago.

* Be sure that you’ve given every effort that the other person deserves. They can choose to accept it or reciprocate it. But if they have chosen not to, never believe it’s your fault. If you worry that you didn’t put forth enough effort it’s never too late to let them know.

* Realize that no relationship has to end as a closed door or a barrier. Broken hearts are either a bump in the road of something longer lasting or a new doorway to something better. All good relationships require great humility from both partners and the occasional broken heart helps us all be more humble.

* Stay away from chick-flicks, they're a bunch of bull and they'll pollute your ability to appreciate what has happened.  

* Trust in God. He is with you. That is your most important relationship; if you put Him first everything else will fall into place. The best teachers let their students learn by experience. This was an epiphany I had while at the MTC today. God is a perfect teacher. Effective teaching lets the learner autonomously choose to learn. You can never force a student to accept a lesson. I do believe that God is there willing to help us and give us direction, but we have to choose to learn from every experience that we are given.

* This one is just a logical series of sentences that you can think about. I tried wording this in different ways but it wasn’t working. It is not eloquent, but it is true.
Repentance is progress.
Repentance is the key to fulfillment.
Repentance is the key to happiness.
A broken heart is the first step to repentance.
Thus, A broken heart is progress.
A broken heart is a part of fulfillment.
A broken heart is a step towards happiness.

* Realize that no progress is ever lost unless you chose to lose it. If you are afraid of progressing in a relationship never forget that progress is never lost. If you progressed together and now you are apart, you still progressed. Progress is never lost individually nor as a couple.  

* Don’t let fear, jealousy, worry, or self-doubt anywhere near you. It’s likely that those things are what ruined the relationship; so if you want to learn from your broken heart, don’t keep repeating the same mistakes.

* Don’t turn down opportunities that are right in front of you. Too often we think so much about what could have been or should have been that we don’t see what’s right under our noses. Focusing on what went wrong and why it’s unfair will only blind you to the greater light that is ahead.

*We all make mistakes. You are expected to. That’s a powerful and hopeful truth if we want it to be.

* Don’t compromise your self worth simply because you feel bad about how things worked out. As I once said, (this is from the post I linked to above, it’s kind of silly to quote myself but I don’t feel like they are my words) “You are of God, your light comes from within. Hope doesn’t settle upon you, it is a unique part of your nature. Do not doubt your potential. Light is always within reach.”