This is not a public journal. There is no theme, agenda, or overall purpose. I need a reason to write and it needs to be well informed. I consider myself an expert in only one subject, my own thoughts. I am reflecting my experiences onto the internet because this seems to make them more beautiful to me, especially when they are idealized and inaccurate. This is not a mirror for me to see myself looking back, nor is it a mirror that reflects a detailed image of myself to others. This page is but a jumble of letters, words, and ideas that will be interpreted differently for each person, including myself. There are no mirrors because these thoughts are directionless, inaccurate, and fuzzy; a vague, splotchy reflection of McKinley.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

The Luckiest

I once knew a kid who, for some lucky reason, had gotten to know all of the most inspiring people. He had met and cared about so many people over the few years he had been alive. He had been taught by adults and loved by his peers. This kid never understood why people liked him, but he appreciated the fact that he had few enemies. He had the MOST amazing friends, acquaintances, and example. He was always nostalgic, and wanted to be with all those people that had left his life along the way. Although, at the same time, he didn't want to miss a second of the present with the people that were always around. There was too much hope for the future, because he knew that there were so many inspiring, beautiful, loving, hilarious people that he would have the pleasure of meeting. He had an awesome family that he got along with most of the time. All in all, I could tell that he had learned how to love and appreciate everyone. He understood love in the sense that he felt it (without always being able to show it) for so many people, even some that may not even remember his name.

It was a shame that I didn't really spend a lot of time with this kid, he wasn't always around. You'd think that a person like this would be someone that you want following you around. But I shut him out at times, I kept him away. 

Then I had an epiphany when this kid decided to let me in on his secret. We were alone, just the two of us. He leaned in and looked at me with a look that said "this is serious." At first, I was nervous. What could he, the luckiest kid, have to say to me. I calmed down and met his gaze. He cleared his throat, as if to reveal a climactic plot twist like my whole life was a sham and everyone in it were paid actors and actresses in a very Truman Show-like fashion. He almost couldn't bring himself to say it. He lightened up a bit, as he probably saw me searching for the hidden cameras. He began to speak and I listened intently, because I knew this had to be good."I am McKinley," he said. I was a bit surprised at this statement for three reasons. First, I never knew his name, which you've gotta admit is pretty wacky. Second, even though I didn't know his name it's nothing to make this big of a deal about. Just because we share the same name doesn't mean that he could keep it secret from me and then pretend like it's the greatest news I've ever heard. Woopty do man, cool name. Third, as you all know my name is McKinley so it creeped me out a bit. With all that aside I took a second to think. You know I am pretty lucky too. Then it hit me, this kid really is McKinley, me McKinley. McKinley Skylar Withers to be exact. Though there was something a bit different about this McKinley. This was the ideal McKinley, the McKinley that comes out only in fleeting moments of reflective gratitude. This was the part of me that I sincerely wished was always with me. Who appreciates and loves every single person. As exciting as this news was, it saddened me a bit. To think that I actually pushed this part of me away at times. I was upset that I didn't always include him. However, as much as this news depressed me it was quickly countered by gratitude and humility ten times the sadness. This is because I realized that even though I am not always the ideal McKinley who loves everyone in ridiculous quantities, these people that he knew were still the same people that I knew. I realized that I knew the most inspiring, loving, funny, beautiful, caring, and loyal people in existence. I had the best family and the best friends. I had hundreds of examples who never stopped teaching me lifelong lessons. This was one of those moments. The ones that you always remember because you feel so lucky. I had honestly never been so grateful to be alive. After all, I finally let it sink in,



I am the luckiest kid alive.

2 comments:

  1. I wrote this in 2006, I didn't edit it at all because I wanted it to capture the old 18 year old me. This still holds true to this day, I am pretty lucky.

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  2. This is so cool!! Have you ever considered pursuing writing?

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