Reflecting without mirrors

Too often we fall into the trap of seeing our experiences as all - or - nothing . We might believe that if something doesn’t fulfill our full expectations of what it should have been, could have been, or what other people tell us it is was supposed to be; then it was worthless and shouldn’t have happened. This type of thinking causes a sobering devaluation of life’s greatest experiences. We owe it to ourselves to value our experiences (since they are ALL a part of our unique and once-lived life). Thus, there is a desperate need to eliminate all-or-nothing thinking patterns. If something was bad or difficult it does not mean it was worthless. Sure this is cliché advice, it’s advice that we give each other all the time. Despite our understanding of this concept in the abstract, I still see all-or-nothing thinking permeate our singles culture and damage our ability to appreciate our experiences. Each of the topics listed below are suggestions aimed at helping us truly value ...

There are some phrases that are universally good to hear like, “I love you,” or “you look really good today.” Although these examples are generally positive they have a different meaning for each person depending on their experiences. The phrase that I have realized I most like to hear isn’t always, universally positive. But, based on my experiences, it is one of the highest compliments anyone can give me. I am one of the lucky people who are proud when they hear this phrase. Whenever somebody says, “you are a lot like your dad,” I feel taller and stronger, like the withers of a horse. Whenever somebody says, “you are a lot like your dad,” I feel more caring and sensitive to the needs of people I barely know. Whenever somebody says, “you are a lot like your dad,” I feel capable of working tirelessly to make everything I touch better than it was when I found it. Whenever somebody says, “you are a lot like your dad,” I feel like I know how to fix anything whether th...